The Selfishness of Mother Figures

In the memoir The Glass Castle written by Jeannette Walls, she tells her story of being raised in poverty by a negligent mother. The short story "A Mother in Mannville” written by Marjorie Rawlings tells a bittersweet tale about Jerry, an orphan, and a female writer who befriends him. Both stories illuminate the relationship between a child and a mother figure. In this essay, I want to focus on the selfishness of these  two mother figures, Rosemary in The Glass Castle and the writer in “A Mother in Mannville”.

What kind of characteristics can be judged as selfishness? If a mother knows nothing about her child and doesn't carry her responsibility at all, then she can be judged as a selfish mother undoubtably.

To begin with, we can see easily the cold attitudes of these women toward the children in the very beginnings of the two stories. In The Glass Castle, Rosemary was painting and singing in her room while her three-year-old daughter Jeannette was cooking hot dogs by herself in the kitchen. What’s worse, after the accident in which Jeannette was burned, Rosemary explained to the neighbor “in an unnaturally calm voice” what had happened. If she really cared about her daughter, she would have been upset. Obviously, she is a selfish and irresponsible woman who only cared about herself. In the beginning of “A Mother in Mannville” the female writer had a boy coming from the orphanage to help her chop wood. That boy was Jerry. When she saw the small build of Jerry, she said, “You? But you’re small.” And then she asked Jerry to work rudely, “Go ahead and see what you can do.” She was well into her work at that time and didn’t want to talk more. It is not proper and polite to treat a poor orphan who came to do some favors in this way. All the writer cared about was her own work. In that sense, she is also selfish.

Moreover, as the stories go on, we can see more similarities. Neither of the women understand what the children want. In the Glass of Castle, when Rosemary found Jeannette was eating chewing gum, she disapproved of it and said “I am your mother, and I should have a say in how you’re raised.” She knew that she was her mom, but she never carried her responsibilities to cook for her and never knew how happy Jeanette was when she was eating chewing gum. Another obvious proof is she entered Jeanette’s name in a raffle and won a helicopter ride, but she took the ride before telling Jeanette, so Jeanette got very disappointed at that time, but she didn’t care at all. And although the writer in “A Mother in Mannville” fell in love with Jerry and wanted to care for Jerry in the middle of the short story, she still didn’t understand Jerry well even in the close relationship. What Jerry wanted was a mother figure to rely on. That’s why he came everyday and stayed to talk, and why his face shone when talking about his imaginary mom. However the writer thought little about that. When she heard that Jerry had a mom, she felt shocked and hurt. She was jealous of the mom and then all she thought about was getting relief from her ache, “Mexico immediately”, “ Then Alaska”, “After that, heaven knew what or where.” When it came to Jerry, the writer thought “It was none of my concern.” From this we can easily see that the writer didn’t understand Jerry at all.

Last but not least, at the end of two works, both mother figures showed the same selfishness as they showed in the very beginning. It is circuitous . In the Glass Castle, when Jeanette came back home from the hospital, she felt hungry but Rosemary was at work on a painting as usual, so she had to cook by herself still again despite the fear she must have had of the stove. Rosemary didn’t feel ashamed of herself and even thought it was good for Jeanette. In "A Mother in Mannville", the writer told Jerry the message she would leave in a direct and simple way, “I am leaving tomorrow”, without any reasons or comforts. She didn’t imagine how sad Jerry would be after he heard that. She treated Jerry just as indifferently as when they first met each other.

   In our conventional impression, mother figures should be thoughtful to children and understand children well. However from Rosemary and the writer’s actions and words, we can see the same selfishness. They were rude and indifferent in the beginning, were blunt in the close relationship and returned to the same indifference in the end.

A Seated Woman

She climbs up the stairs, opens the window and, as usual, sits on her favorite little chair by the window.

It is dawn and the sun hasn’t yet risen high enough to warm the town and there are still several stars hanging in the little bright sky. The window is facing the street, the narrowest and busiest street in the town, but now the town is still sleeping. Everything is still sleeping, in tranquility and peace. Her husband has gone to the factory located miles away and her babies are still in their dreams. It is a rare hour in a whole day when she can enjoy herself. 

She is standing on the second floor. If there was a higher floor, she would have seen the amazing view of the sunrise. But all she can see is the grey walls and the old windows of her neighbors’ houses. She doesn’t want to have a deeper connection with her neighbors whom she thinks are low-class and vulgar although they all live in the same shabby street. To show her superiority, she tries to decorate her window with some flowers, as she did before her marriage, but she now must spend much less on such luxuries.

She dresses herself in her favorite dress and hat, which were gifts from her parents on her eighteenth birthday. Even though that was ten years ago now, she still keeps them. The silk dress suits her perfectly. Both the color and the design are truly fantastic. The hat is decorated with precious feathers and jewels and it  matches her dress very well. There should be a precious necklace around her neck, but she has pawned it. Even so she is still beautiful enough to impress anyone. If anyone passed by the window, they would have thought that she was prepared for an important party.

A party is exactly what she is thinking about. in the dark second floor and enjoying the rare fresh air and quiet atmosphere of the day, she is immersed in her memories. She has recalled her eighteenth birthday party when she wore the same dress and hat. All her friends came to celebrate with her. They had champagne and had fun until midnight. She received piles of gifts packaged attractively and opened the boxes one by one. Time flew.

In the summer when she was twenty, she met her husband. He had nothing but they fell in love with each other at first sight. He named the brightest star after her as a gift. He taught her to ride a wild horse. He proposed to her with a pull-tab of a can as a wedding ring. She had never met a man like him. She married him despite all her relatives opposition. The memories rushed back to her. She recalled more details of the past. Washing dishes was the first housework that she learned, since it was much easier than cooking. Looking after babies was a hard job without the help of babysitter, but it was surprising to hear the first “mom” from her child. It was in the store at the end of the street where she found very cheap flowers by coincidence. All these pieces of memories washed over her. All the images and colors are so clear that she can’t tell whether she is in reality or a dream. It is her ceremony everyday.

The sun is rising and the sky is turning lighter. The dealers who sell breakfast have begun their work. Some women walk toward the well with pails. Some children cry out. A new day has begun and the town begins to be busy again. Although she wants to stay for another minute, she hears the cry of her babies. She closes the window, moves the chair to its original place, hurries back to her bedroom and changes her wonderful dress into a simple cotton one. She becomes astute, quick and hardworking again.

A Lie is Worse than a Mistake

When I was a very little girl my mother told me that a lie was worse than a mistake. Two years ago, when during my freshman year, I learned the truth of my mother's words.

It was a busy season when all basketball teams were preparing for the Freshmen Game, which was one of the most exciting events in the university. I worked for the basketball team as an assistant to help the captain in some daily affairs. Our team had never entered the quarter final in history, but this year we won the championship! It was a landmark event. I still remember the moment we won."Champion! Champion! Victory! Victory!" I kept screaming until my voice cracked.

However the happiness didn’t last more than a day. That night, a horrible message from the captain came. It told me that our team had been suspended because John got on the court, and he was a graduate freshman who was not permitted in the game.The dorm was warm but the fine hair on my arms stood up.  Before I figured out the situation, the captain's call came. "Meet me in the coffee shop, now." He said indifferently. There he was, sitting by the window. His face was pale with rage and his teeth clenched. I went to him and we sat face to face, in an embarrassing silence. He opened his mouth first. “You told me that you attended the meeting and you had read the rules of game.”

My heart speeded up after hearing that. In an instant I recalled the details of that day of the meeting. It was a regular meeting ,usually held before every game, in which the committee would make the draw and confirm the rules. The captain asked me to attend it in his place. The meeting would be held at 18:00 at the Students’ Center. I wrote it down on my notebook in an obvious place. But after I finished all my homework, it was nearly 20:00. Oh my god! I totally forgot it. How could I forget it. I grabbed my key and rushed to the place as fast as I could. But I missed the whole meeting. How could I tell the captain? He was such a serious guy that he would have to be angry with me. How could I make up my mistake. My face turned red. I didn’t know what I should do. Luckily, the student told me the time and place of our game which I thought might be the most information. I breathed a little easier and just relayed the information to the captain. When he asked me whether there was anything special in the meeting, I said “no” confidently.

The captain’s pale face dragged me back.  I admitted that I totally forgot the meeting. My voice shook before I knew. I dare not to look in his eyes. His face got even paler after hearing my reply. We kept in silence for a few seconds. Then he told me what had happened because of my lie, in an indifferent tongue.

Freshman Game used to be OK for graduates freshman, but this year it had been changed. If I had told him earlier, he would have been able to ask the committee about the rules. He trusted me but I lied to him. At first he was calm, but later he couldn't control himself and started to blame me. A few minutes later, he recovered again. His face was still pale. “Everything was in vain.” He left, without another word.

I stayed there still like a stone. I just didn't want to be blamed for the little mistake ,so I made up for a mistake by telling a lie. I thought I handled it but I messed up everything. Everyone in the coffee shop seemed to laugh at me. I couldn’t help crying out.

“ A lie is worse than a mistake.” Suddenly, I remembered my mom’s words.

Torosaurus: A Peabody Dinosaur

One hour has passed since I started my trip in search of the Peabody Natural History Museum. I have heard that it's one of the oldest and most famous natural history museums in the USA. But where is it?  Obviously I am not good at finding my way. Now I am walking alone under the strong sunlight without an umbrella and what's worse, my phone will shut down in a few minutes because of the battery. Feeling like an adventurer in a desert who is going to lose her compass, I just walk around hopelessly and aimlessly.

"Oh, there is something cool! What is it?" Yes, right there, across the street, there is a... a dinosaur?! Maybe it's a dinosaur. Excited, I crossed the street to have a close look.

Yes, it is. It is a giant bronze statue of a dinosaur whose name is torosaurus. I am sure that it is the coolest dinosaur I have seen and is actually beyond my description. It comes to life nearly just before my eyes. It stands on the top of a rock, with its rhinoceros horn pointing to the sky. It opens its mouth so largely that it seems to be able to eat people in one bite. Its skin is so lifelike that I can even feel the rigidity of the carapace. Besides, the muscles are well attached to the bone as natural as though it were living and I can even feel the strength of the muscles. Last but not least, what is scary most is its eyes. They are  glowering at something, maybe its prey. Of course, it is bellowing. It is showing the strength and power it has. Against the blue sky, it looks more life-like and powerful.

I walk around it to make a careful observation. It lives in a green and wild environment. The surrounding area is a Cretaceous garden with granite benches. There are lots of plantings surrounding it, including magnolias, ferns and other species that existed at the same time with it. The plantings are also attractive. Their colors and shapes are totally different from the plants nowadays.

Then I know that I have arrived. This must be the Peabody Museum! Turning right at the statue, I find the entrance to the museum. The sign tells me that it's 6 dollars for students to visit. “Six dollars, not very expensive. It deserves to be paid," I think. Groping for a ten dollar bill for a few minutes,

"Oh my god! "

I have left my purse in the dorm! How careless and forgetful I am! It's really a shame but I have enjoyed myself by only admiring the Peabody Dinosaur outside the museum.